Final Fantasy VII - 90% More Flashback

October 8, 2018

It's the end of the world as we know it...again! In the season finale, a meteor threatens to wipe out the world of Gaia, but Cloud is too busy having an existential crisis to do anything about it. ALSO: The seven stages of Jenova grief. Tom has feelings about a canon. Max is just tired. Linzi and Daniel are afraid.

See you next year, folks!

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy VII - Part 1: The JFK Assassination of Video Game Moments

October 1, 2018

Guys, this is it. It's part 1 of our season finale. Also, we're doing Final Fantasy VII. This time we're joined by 33% Pulp, the right crew to dissect this techno-noir fable about extra long swords, just like this extra long episode!

What to say about this one? This Final Fatasy has everything. Cyborgs. Drag queens. Dragons. Swords. More swords. Machine gun hands. Come along the journey as we join the pluckiest little group of eco terrorists vs late stage capitalism vs Alien.

Our themed cocktail comes to us again from The Drunken Moogle!

The Lifestream

Ingredients:

4 cl Barcardi Lemon
1 cl Peppermint Green*
3 cl Apple Juice
1 cl Lime
Sprite

Directions:
Shake first with the top 4 ingredients. Then top up with Sprite in a Highballs Glass filled with ice cubes.

*You can also swap this out for Midori like we did, and add some muddled mint leaves at the bottom of the glass.

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy VI - Part 2: Moana The F*** Out

September 24, 2018

Apocolypse now? More like, apocolypse WOW! In the thrilling conclusion to THE BEST FINAL FANTASY: Tom eat's Max's pickle and then cries (it's really not as suggetive as it sounds) and Sasha and Courtney debate which Hemsworth brother is Edgar and Sabin. Enter a bleak wasteland of magical test tube babies, mimes, Pink Bonnie Tylers, anagrams, and generally sad things.

 

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy VI - Part 1: The One Who Will Do the Thing

September 17, 2018

Finally, the best Final Fantasy (until IX!) What happens when you get bored of rehashing mideival, fantasy tropes for your never-ending video games series? You go full steampunk! Enter a world where magic no longer exists, and strong female protagonists abound. Hop aboard this phantom train with special ghosts...er...I mean guests, Sasha and Courtney from Spoop Hour!

For Skippers, story starts around 24 minutes in.

For Drinkers:

This recipe comes to us from our friends over at The Drunken Moogle!

The Bum Rush

Ingredients:
55ml Arita Tequila
22ml Triple Sec
20ml Lime Juice
A Few Drops of Chili Seeds
A Lemon Wedge
A Chili Pepper

Directions: Run a lemon wedge around the rim of a cocktail glass then cover with coarse salt. Crush a few ice cubes into a cocktail shaker then pour in 50ml Arita Tequila, 22ml Triple Sec, 20ml lime juice and drop in a couple of chilli seeds. Shake and pour into the glass and attach one chilli pepper onto the side.

BossaBossa - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

 

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy V - Part 2: My Milkshake Brings All the Voids to the Yard

September 10, 2018

Our FFV friends have just been transported to a parallel world, ruled over by the evil tree-turned-Alexander McQueen-dress named ExDeath. Drama! It’s ExDeath vs the Warriors of Light and Max vs Gin. Also, tree puns, dragons for pretty blonde girls, and the fine china of music. Bring me my morning sponge cake!

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy V - Part 1: I Like Big Bartz and I Cannot Lie

September 3, 2018

Final Fantasy V is one of the more quirky entries in the franchise, having never come to America, and trading the multi-character saga of FFIV for a smaller, more customizable cast. It’s also weird a.f. In keeping with that theme, we brought the boys from Beliver/Skpetic Podcast on board to take a stab at the interdimensional shangingans of FFV! We got conveniently timed meteorites, genderfluid sea monsters, and fire demons all up in this b****!

For Skippers: Story Starts at 27:35

For Drinkers:

The Santa Klauser

Ingredients:

Equal parts gin
One egg
A shot of simple syrup or honey.
Add a little sugar or half part of cream if you want it to be sweeter.

Directions:

Emulsify the mixture for 35 seconds to a minute. Add ice to the martini shaker, and shake for a another minute or minute half. Pour into glass and sprinkle a dash of cinnamon and cayenne on top. Shake it in a shaker for 45 seconds.

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy Tactics - Part 2: The Women; Good Job!

August 27, 2018

Take a stroll in our betrayal garden in this thrilling conclusion to Final Fantasy Tactics!

War has broken out in Ivalice! The succession of the throne is up for debate and the church is harboring a demonic secret. Meanwhile, Max complains about all the Capricorns he's dated, and Tom just does his best. Delita your account!

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy Tactics - Part 1: Astrologers Anonymous

August 20, 2018

Curveball! While Max is adventuring across an actual fantasy Kingdom (that is, the United ones) we’re releasing our first dive into a non-numbered entry: Final Fantasy as written by George R.R. Martin.

Step into a harsh, feudal world ruled by the power of the zodiac. A world where none of your spells should even work because astrology is fake, and besides, there's no way a Sagittarius could be a bad guy like ever. All of this plus: proper nouns, vodka soup, and drama. More wine!

Skippers: Story starts at 18 minutes in.

Drinkers:

The Pages of History Are Writ in Bloody Mary’s

Note: If you can’t get all of the ingredients, store bought Bloody Mary mix is fine / literally what we did for this episode.

4 oz Tomato juice
2 dashes Sriracha
2 dashes Soy sauce (Or Worcestershire)
1 pinch salt
1 pinch black pepper
1 pinch paprika
2 oz Gin (Vodka is also fine; Tom just really likes gin)

Featured Wine: Game of Thrones Red Blend

Bossa Bossa by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy IV - Part 2: Two Moons, One Cup

August 13, 2018

Let’s hop back to the early 90s, a time of soaring economies, Squeeze-It’s, POGs, and the most beloved of Nintendo hardware: the SNES!

In this conclusion: Giant robots, flying whales, an argument over the letter “w”, and find out Max’s family hid in their fridge for over a decade.

Bossa Bossa by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

00:0000:00

Final Fantasy IV - Part 1: Sad Games and Soft Boys

August 6, 2018

At long last-Final Fantasy IV, widely considered the “classic” of the franchise.

This episode we are joined by the masked, mischief-maker himself, Acadia Einstein of Strangeful Things podcast and Superficial Gallery. Embark on adventure full of sorcery, sad boys, and spoony bards! Along the way, we uncover the dark truth behind Trader Joe’s, Tom brags about his cool autographed memorabilia, and Acadia recalls an encounter with a truly eldritch being: Gary Busey.

For Skippers: story begins at 22:35

For drinkers:

The Dark Knight

Blackberries (muddled; optional)
1 oz Chambord
½ oz Mr. Boston Blackberry Liquor
Fill glass to the top with champagne

Bossa Bossa by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

00:0000:00